Picking yourself back up off the floor
Like everyone, I often get down in the dumps about my burlesque life.
It’s never something that has a quick fix solution. But there are definitely consistent strategies I use when I’m down or stressed out. None of these ideas are going to be the most ground breaking things you have ever heard - but if you need a starting point it’s not a bad launch pad. The most important thing is to remember that everyone feels down about their burlesque career at some point.
Have a Proper Personal Life
If you don't have it already, the best thing I did for myself was to have a separation between my social media as myself and as a performer. I know that some performers don't differentiate between burlesque and 'real life'. That's not a decision I can make for anyone. And if you are a full time performer you probably live and breath your business. But I find having a space for my closest friends and family (some of whom do perform and who I know outside the industry), is definitely a safe space for me where I can leave the burlesque world behind and connect over so many other things.
Avoid Quick Decisions
Don't make any rash decisions. Feeling crummy or having a bad run on stage? Take a breather. But I'd hold off making a rushed Facebook post that you are quitting burlesque or that you hate everyone.Again, for me, separating out my personal life and my burlesque life gives me a breather and stops me making big online rash statements.
Turn off Facebook
Switch off social media. Get a mate to change your password and lock yourself out. Set your phone on silent, stick it on a charger on the other side of the room and make it harder on yourself to get distracted. Honestly, if you can do half a day without getting caught up in social media you can see a big change in your mood instantly.
Have a Hobby or Volunteer
Get a non burlesque hobby. My life improved ten fold when I stopped making burlesque my be all and end all outside of my day job. For me it's Bikram Yoga, my dog, a serious film obsession, and a circle of friends that can talk non burlesque with me. And hanging out with my burlesque friends but not talking burlesque. Don't have a hobby? Get into a pattern of walking or reading. Something outside the DVD box set/television. Go volunteer for something. My point is that if you centre your life around one thing, and it starts to go haywire, it's easy to feel like you are spiraling out of control. If you have a few points in your life to go to, you can give yourself more balance. And you will have people in your life that can give you a different perspective if you need advice.
Plan Ahead
My biggest tip is knowing what your trigger points are. I know for example that I always get a post show comedown. Especially if it's been something that I've had in the pipeline and been looking forward to for awhile. Even at the end of a show, I can feel the blues settling in because all the work/ anxiety/adrenaline has passed and my brain goes automatically into evaluating what went wrong or what could have been better. So now I like to plan something fun the day or a few days after a show. From as simple as a brunch date with someone I love right up to a mini break away. Something planned that I can jump into rather than feeling that 'nothingness' after an event.
Remember the good stuff
If you've done some of these things and had some time out and still aren't feeling the burlesque love. Then do a serious re-evaluation. Do the hard yards to find out why you might not be feeling the love:
Remember why you became interested in burlesque. The first show you saw. What attracted you to it? Why have those feelings or interests changed? Is it a performer you need to reconnect with? Or are you feeling like there are too many gigs
Where are you performing? Is it all corporate gigs and private events? Or all small shows, with nothing large to look forward to? Or are you in a venue where you hate the owners or the patrons?
Who are you working with? Seriously reconsider toxic performers. There is no money in the world to make up for working with some dipshits.
Have you talked it through with a performer who you trust? Find someone that may be has been through this before and who will cut through the bullshit with you. It doesn't need to be your best pal. Perhaps there's someone you admire and have worked with before that is slightly removed from your circumstances, and that can give you some impartial advice.
Get professional support. Of course if your down in the dumps about burlesque vibes could be more serious. If it is something you are fixating on constantly, or you aren’t sure, always start with the professionals. Professionals like:
Beyond Blue: Information and support to help everyone in Australia achieve their best possible mental health, whatever their age and wherever they live.
Support Act Wellbeing Helpline : A resource specifically for musicians and performing artists
LifeLine : Supporting Australians experiencing crisis